Talk:William Redington Hewlett/@comment-5546295-20120924233640

This wiki page turned out to be very well put together. There were little to no grammatical errors and the sentence/ paragraph structures flow together as a real Wikipedia page would. I could see this being published actually on the Wikipedia website. The early life section really got my attention and made me want to read more about William Hewlett.

One thing I did find incorrect was under the section of “Career” the statement about Walt Disney purchasing seven ocillators is off by one more oscillator. According to one of the reference links Walt Disney purchased eight of them to be used in the film Fantasia, but this is a finding on the minor side of changes or improvements. Another thing I would recommend under this section was stating a bit more about his later positions within the company such as when Hewlett’s named director emeritus in 1987 until his death on January 12, 2001. I think that is a fundamental element to a person’s career, without such knowledge you may think that the person, Hewlett in this case, was still in the last discussed position within the company; unless noted that such person was deceased.

I would also say on the minor side that in the “Early Life” section that the author had spelled out the acronym of MIT, seeing it was only mentioned once in the text and earlier they spelled out the name of Stanford University and University of Michigan.

Other than the things I mentioned above, I would have thought this page to be very informational and factual just as any other Wikipedia page would be. I like that the setup of this page is presented in “pretty” manner. The entries are not one long paragraph and formatted in a way in which makes me not want to read the text or even skim through it. I like that the patents, publications, and etc as well as the awards and recognitions are in a list as well give a little in depth detail. The information presented did prove to come from the sources cited and was pretty much accurately presented.